Are You Having More Sex Than You Think?

More Ways to Have Sex!
Did you know that sex doesn’t have to mean penis-in-vagina penetration?

While that is one way of having sex, and the most common thing that comes to mind when most of us think about sex, it isn’t the definition of sex.

Sex is about you and your partner receiving and giving pleasure to each other, it’s not a specific set of acts, but rather the mindset and intentions of the people doing the acts. If you’re doing something sexual, then you’re having sex!  This knowledge might just put a whole new spin on your sex life.

You might be having a lot more sex than you think!
All of these are common examples of stories I hear from people who tell me they don’t have sex. I remind them that they are having sex and if they embrace that, they can make it really work for them.

He always wants me to perform oral sex on him and then we run out of time because the baby wakes up, or he’s too tired, or…
Take Turns! One night you tell him that he is in for a TREAT! Bring some Sweet Tooth and the Playmate to bed and surprise him. Give him the best oral sex EVER! And know you are going to be finished for the night. Kiss him and tell him to sleep tight and that tomorrow it’s your turn. Whisper in his ear exactly what you want him to do to you the next night. Who knows, if the baby’s still sleeping, that might just wake him up enough for round 2!
I can only orgasm when he goes down on me before we have sex.
Sex can still feel good even if you might not have an orgasm from it. Make sure you are using a good lubricant, and enough of it. Communicate with your partner before and be an active participant during. And if you need that level of warm-up before penetration, make sure your partner knows it.
My partner likes nipple stimulation. She can have an orgasm that way. Sometimes after a long day, I like to pleasure her and then I’m just too tired to think about myself.
That is fantastic! As long as your partner knows this is why you are “rolling over and falling asleep”, you are doing things just fine.

All of these people are having sex, lots of it from the sounds of it!

The Body is a Wonderland… with Cloud 9 Parties!

It’s near impossible to have sex without engaging any of the senses.  Seriously.  If you don’t believe me, try it out.  The senses are a necessary and universal aspect to all sexual play.  And yes, even when you fantasize, you are still imagining how your senses will interact with heat, passion and ecstasy.  So before you indulge your senses in an afternoon delight, take a moment to learn how your senses are truly involved in sex and see if you can maximize the opportunity to spice things up by becoming more sensual.

Exploring the Pleasures of our Senses with Cloud 9 Parties

The body is truly a wonderland.  Enjoy your five senses with gusto.  And if you’d like to explore any of the above information with our extensive product line, contact your local Cloud 9 Parties consultant for more details.

Happy (Sensual) Orgasms!

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Resources for Chart
Acid alkaline food chart. (2012). Retrieved from http://www.balance-ph-diet.com/acid_alkaline_food_chart.html
Amen, D. (2007). Sex on the brain: 12 lessons to enhance your love life. New York: Crown Publishing.
Cox, T. (2003). Superflirt. DK ADULT.
Denny, V. (2010, February 10). 10 couples massage technique. Retrieved from http://www.ivillage.com/10-couples-massage-techniques-try-tonight/4-b-122952
Joannides, P. (2010). The guide to getting it on. Goofy Foot Press.
Sprinkle, A. (2005). Dr. sprinkle's spectacular sex. Tarcher.
Yarber, W., Sayad, B., & Strong, B. (2010). Human sexuality, diversity in contemporary america. (7th ed.). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Humanities/Social Sciences/Languages.

Cloud 9 Parties Gets Kinky!

50 Shades of Kink_edited-1

Usually when we hear the word “kink” we immediately think of whips, chains, and dungeons.  But what if the word “kink” was actually just describing something that happens in our bedroom every time?  Think about it, sex involves the body.  Mostly we just concentrate on our genitals, what they are (and are not) experiencing.  But we’re missing the entire boat if all we think about sex is “genital play”.  That’s like saying that eating only involves the stomach, when it also involves the lips, tongue, taste buds, teeth, throat, etc.  Sure, the goal of eating is to “feel full” with your stomach, but don’t you enjoy eating much more when you savor the taste?  And for those who have ever tried a diet that involves bland, repetitive food, you know exactly what I’m talking about.  Eating is just so much better when you can enjoy it.

So let’s take it back to sex.  Sure, the “goal” of sex for some could be an orgasm with the genitals – involving the same, unimaginative routine every time.  But isn’t sex more fun when it involves the entire body and all of the pleasures it can experience?  That’s why our definition of “kink” takes the focus away from just the genitals and places it on your senses.

Kink is: “Exploring the senses on purpose”

By focusing on the tastes, feel, aromas, sounds, and sights of sex you expand your whole world.  No longer is sex a one-track minded event with a frustrating finish line to reach.  Sex instantly relaxes into more exploration, more attentiveness, and more hot, steamy, shared moments.  The couples that play together, stay together.  This is a proven fact.  When lovers explore together, they are taking risks together.  The more “safe risks” the couple takes together (like trying out a new activity together, taking a cooking class, or even taking a road trip for a day to a new place), the more they’ll learn to trust one another.  Risks lead to trust.  And trusts leads to intimacy.  So by making your sex life a bit kinky, you can add in “safe risks” to your bedroom that will connect you in a much deeper way than the ol’ plug-and-chug method.

How do you add in kink?

Start with these 3 suggestions.

Hearts of Fire

Hearts of Fire

The Hearts of Fire:  This reusable instant heat massager can be used in sensual play to engage the skin with the feeling of heat.  Using the body for massages, caresses, or even tickles helps bring the mind’s focus to the skin instead of the genitals.  This is an easy way to kink it up. $17

Simply Sexy

Simply Sexy

Simply Sexy Perfume:  The power of smell is not one to take casually.  When we smell something, our brain registers it with a memory and then gives our body a feeling of either comfort, love, happiness, or even horniness.  The Simply Sexy perfume is not one for the faint-hearted.  The 3-note fragrance screams sex, especially since it is infused with pheromones.  Reserve this for the bedroom only so that you can engage the sense of smell to again, take the focus away from the genitals and onto the pleasurable body. $24

Pulsabath

Pulsabath

The Pulsabath: The fun way to make the shower more steamy.  Not only can this foam ball clean, but it also vibrates!  Use your imagination and think about how much fun you could have with this added sensation. $22

Want more?  Contact a Cloud 9 Parties consultant and they’ll introduce you to our catalog line, featuring 35 pages of ways to explore your senses on purpose.

Happy (Kinky) Orgasms!

The G-Spot Orgasm 101

The g-spot orgasm is commonly believed to be the holy grail of female orgasms. On every Sex and the City episode, they’re drooling over it. On every magazine cover, they’re advertising it. And every time you get together with your girlfriends, they’re bragging about it. It’s like the g-spot orgasm is haunting you everywhere you go and after awhile you feel like it might be just a made up thing, or that you were born with the unlucky ticket and don’t have one.

elvgrenriding_high_1954Well no worries, it is not made up and you are SO very lucky! The g-spot orgasm is actually a skill that you have to train your body to do… and if you’ve never been trained on how to do one, then how do you expect to have one? This blog is going to teach you everything you need to know on where to find your g-spot, how to train it to work, and how to have a g-spot orgasm every time you have sex.

The g-spot orgasm is like a roller coaster. If you’ve never ridden the ride, it’s a bit intimidating and mid-way up the hill you’re screaming to get off — especially if you have no idea how big the drop is or what comes next. It’s important to see what the roller coaster looks like before you get on. Are there loops? How many drops? What kind of safety belts are there? Once you see the ride, then you won’t feel so scared getting on it. And once you’ve ridden it, well, you most definitely won’t be scared to ride it again 😉

So, to find your g-spot, you are going to go to the bathroom and lock the door. You’re going to hold on to your bathroom counter and lean forward while holding onto the counter. Now this 45-degree angle actually pushes your g-spot out from its hidden space. This is why it’s really good to put pillows underneath your tush or to be in doggie style for optimum g-spot action.

gspot-2Now everyone look at your middle finger. With that finger, you’re going to insert it into your vagina like a hook (fleshy fingertip pointing toward the front). Your g-spot is about 2-3 inches in towards your belly button. It varies different depths and textures depending how turned on the female is.  Go ahead and do a “come hither” tapping motion toward your belly button.

At this point you might feel an odd pressure or even some pain. This starts the 3PO*. The 3PO is the system to every woman’s g-spot orgasm. So, the 4 stages are: pain, pleasure, pee (yes, pee) and orgasm.

Pain: As soon as you touch the g-spot, it hurts (but not in the bad way). Have you ever been having sex and you wiggle into a new position and all of a sudden it hurts? Well, chances are, that’s your g-spot! What happens is, our clitoris is made of 8000 nerve endings. These nerve endings go inside the body and dump themselves off at the g-spot. And so, when penetration is happening, or you’re tapping your g-spot with your finger, those nerve endings need some time to desensitize. After about 3 seconds, the feeling will transition into pleasure.

Pleasure: This is when you’ve relaxed and are thinking, “Oh wow, that feels awesome… I could do this all day.” What’s happening is, your g-spot is filling with fluid, which makes it bigger. The bigger it gets, the more you’re going to touch it…. which brings you more pleasure. You’re going to climb this mountain of pleasure until you get to the very top and you feel like you’re going to pee.

Pee: Have you ever stopped sex because you think you are going to pee? So what do you do??? You go to the bathroom, you sit there… and what happens? Nothing, right? Your brain is wired just like a man’s during sex… you cannot feel pleasure and pee at the same time. It’s physically impossible. That’s why it takes some time for your body to relax (aka, lose your lady boner) so that you can pee. So next time you feel that pain feeling, DON’T STOP! What’s really going on is that your g-spot is filling up with so much fluid that it’s actually putting pressure on your bladder (you only have so much room in there). Also, your g-spot is on the same lining as your bladder. So push through it.

Orgasm: After you’ve pushed through it, and it probably takes a good 5-7 thrusts, you’ll get to the orgasm. And here’s what a g-spot orgasm looks like. It starts at your toes. Some women report that they get foot cramps, muscle spasms, charlie horses, push through it… that’s why they sell Advil over the counter.

Then you’re going to feel this warm rush of water race up your body and when it gets to the top of your head it actually shuts off your pre-frontal cortex. You cannot think, feel, hear, or see anything… it’s the only time you can experience absolute euphoria. After about 2 seconds, your brain reconnects and you feel this cold tingle race down your body, and when it gets to your toes, you are so tense that if anyone moved you, you would break.

And then the orgasm starts. You feel this full-body, deep pulse. The pulsing reaches a peak until…. release. And THAT is a g-spot orgasm.

Now, while g-spot orgasms are natural, they are not innate.  We must teach our body to have g-spot orgasms and go through the 3PO process until it becomes second-nature.  Once the body is trained, the roller coaster ride of orgasmic freedom can happen anytime penetration occurs.  It’s your body.  They’re your orgasms. Take control and harness the power.

wild-orchidA wonderful g-spot training tool is the Wild Orchid (featured), which can be purchased from your local Cloud 9 Parties consultant.  The non-porous material provides the perfect support to take the body through the 3PO process and bring the female to knee-dropping g-spot orgasms.  The vibration in this little toy kicks the power into high-gear with on-the-spot pleasure.  And for less than $30, invest and enjoy!

Happy Orgasms!

 

*The 3PO model for g-spot orgasms is developed by Rachel Maulding, Cloud 9 Parties Director of Education

Starry, Starry Date Night

Most dates take place at night, so why not enjoy the natural scenery in the most sexy way possible? This date idea consists of two parts: art and romance.  It’s only when you combine the two that your starry night sparks into something so sensual that even Van Gogh would be jealous.

What You’ll Need:tumblr_mb6dvqPmnH1rfy8pco1_500

  1. A fellow stargazer
  2. Edible body paint (Shunga Body Paint) or body-safe pens (Neopolitan Pen Set)
  3. A clear night sky
  4. A blanket

What You’ll Do:

Part One – Romance

Before you can start your art project, you’ll need to do a bit of research.  Grab a blanket and head somewhere that the night sky is brilliantly lit with stars.  Be sure to download a stargazing app to use on your smart phone before heading out so that you can actively engage with the night sky.  Allow up to 15 minutes for your eyes to adjust to the darkness.  While stargazing, consider one of the following ways to play with the galaxy:

  • Locate a constellation and narrate the story/legend like you were at the planetarium.  If you don’t know the story, or only remember fragments of it from elementary school, feel free to make up the rest.  The sillier the story, the more fun you’ll both have.
  • Try and find the planets in the sky by which lights are twinkling and which are not.  Then use the app to check your guess.
  • Play “I Spy” with each other and see if you can accurately point to which star your partner is describing to you.  This game will test your communication skills… and patience levels.
  • Discuss if you believe in life outside of Earth and if there’s a possibility that somewhere in another galaxy a pair of “aliens” are on the very date you are, stargazing at the very same sky.
  • Attempt to take a picture of you both kissing right in front of the moon so that it can cast a glow behind you.  This will most likely turn out ridiculous, but hey, it sure will be funny trying!

Part Two – Art

After you’ve researched what constellations look like, head back indoors and get ready to turn up the temperature a couple degrees.  This art activity can be as “friendly” as you’d like depending on how well you know your date.  You’ll want to grab either our Shunga Body Paint or our Neopolitan Pen Set to enjoy this project.  With your partner’s consent, turn their body into the night sky by connecting their freckles into mini constellations.  After their celestial body is done, then it’s their turn to do the same to you!  After both of you are covered in Little Dippers and Orions, you can either help each other wipe it off, or you can take this activity to the next level and use your tongue.

playpens

The Neopolitan Pen Set

Lovers” Body Pen Set is an erotic and sensual way to indulge your sweet tooth!  Using the pens is a romantic way to create fun messages that are for your partner’s eyes only!  Once read, you must destroy the evidence!

Shunga Body Paintshunga-body-paint

Combine adult play with romance.  Use this aphrodisiac edible body paint to write poems, draw hearts, flowers and reveal your artistic side.  Take your time and enjoy the experience.  Then lick it off!  3.5oz  In 3 scrumptious flavors!

After this date, you’ll never be able to look at the night sky the same again!

Ask the Sexpert: My Vagina is Too Loose

 Question: My last lover told me that I must have been a slut because my vagina was so loose!  I don’t understand, I’m usually really tight…how can it go from one extreme to the other? I’ve been using toys, is that why?gil 1

Answer: There are a lot of misbeliefs and myths that need to be set straight.  The vagina is so mysterious, partly because the only person that’s really ever seen it is the gynecologist (unless you’re into playing doctor with a flashlight and a speculum).  The myths surrounding the vagina and its size are harmful to women and it’s time we dispel them.

(1) “It’s like throwing a hot dog down a hallway” – The belief that having lots of sex makes you loose is wrong, wrong, wrong!  It, surprisingly, makes you “tighter”.  When an object enters the vagina, the PC muscles grab it and do extended Kegel exercises when it’s in.  So the more sexercise your vagina gets, the healthier and “tighter” it becomes.

(2)  “Toys stretch you out” – Wrong!  Same reasoning as above

(3)  “Wow, you’re really tight” – If a lover has ever told you that, then chances are it’s an insult to their sexual skill.  Listen to this, the vagina takes 23 minutes of foreplay to properly balloon upwards and expand in width.  If you do not do that 23 minutes of foreplay/mental teasing/etc, then the vagina will be tighter in the beginning.  This tightness, however, is not a good tightness because the muscles are involuntarily contracted making it hard for blow flow to pump where it’s needed for a G-Spot orgasm.  This could also be related to Vaginismus, a painful mental/physical condition that affects more women than we realize.

(4)  Wait! Don’t I want a tight vagina?? – The optimum stage for an orgasmic vagina is “loose”.  Loose, when aroused, simply means that the vaginal tissue has been engorged with blood making it warmer, plushier, and more sensitive.  This is why it’s important to pair the Kegels during sex so that you can tighten on command the PC muscle which pushes the G-Spot closer to penetration.

Oh, and how does someone become a “hot dog down a hallway” kinda girl?  It’s a combination of genetics and not doing your Kegels.  Ben Wa Balls, anyone??  So don’t let that lover get to you.  They, like most people, are clueless about the mechanisms of the vagina.  If you continue taking care of yourself and your need for foreplay then rest assured, your vagina will follow suit.

Happy Orgasms!

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Cloud 9 Parties Director of Education

Light a Fire with Those Fingers

fireDigit sex, the foreplay fun also known as fingering, makes quite a bit of fireworks when done correctly.  Digit sex is a great addition to the bedroom since it can be the appetizer, main entree and/or dessert.  There are many different ways you can incorporate digit sex throughout your frisky play, as well as products you can add in for an extra boost of sensation.

Below are 6 tips on how to really light the fire using your fingers:

 

1.  Always use lube! The inner and outer lady lips should be lubricated at all times since they are actively involved in fingering (but often forgotten about). You can use our Sliquid or Pink lines of lubricant.

 

2.  Start slow! Fingers are great to explore with because the tips are smooth and you can apply a good amount of pressure with them to the hood of the clitoris, the underside of the clitoris, the lips and the opening of the vagina. You can use our Sliquid Sizzle or Pink Warming lubricant to explore the outer parts and heat things up.

 

3.  It’s not sex! Fingering is not a “Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am” activity. For motions, think come-hithering, not stabbing-and-jabbing. While the penis is nice (for the women that like it), not every phallic object has to turn into what a penis does! You can use the Tongue Twister, Orgasmic Otter, Elated, G-Spot Rocket, Wild Orchid, or Lelo INA to replicate the come-hither movement if the fingers are not long enough to reach the g-spot.

 

4.  Explore! Some women like the g-spot stimulated with one long finger during digit play while some women like to be stretched, even fisted. Find out what her level of hotness is for this activity. You can use our girthy toy like Rockin Robin to give the “fisting” feeling.

 

5.  Cut the Nails! The vaginal tissues are very delicate and do not like nails. If you, or your partner(s), do not want to cut their nails, you can easily purchase the first-aid finger cots sold at any pharmacy. You can use our Simply Sensual Sugar Scrub to exfoliate the fingertips to ensure they are extra smooth.

 

6.  Be sensitive to the clitoris! The closer the woman is to orgasming (read: plateau stage of sexual response cycle), the more sensitive her clitoris becomes. It actually shrinks 50% and hides under the hood (and only indirectly wants to be found). You can use our Magic Massager, Tutti Frutti, or Luv Wand to give indirect stimulation to the clitoris during her plateau stage.

 

Happy (Digital) Orgasms!

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Cloud 9 Parties Director of Education